It’s one of those days…

It’s one of those days that are familiar only to those suffering from autoimmune diseases. Only chronic patients will be able to relate. You know those days when you’re too tired to stand up, talk, or do anything for that matter. When your only desire is to crawl under the rock (a pile of blankets that is) and hide from the world?

Here’s the thing. I recently started working from home. I love it as it’s fulfillment of my lifelong dream, but it requires discipline. I’m just at the beginning of my path still looking for new clients, and have like a million ideas in my head and deadlines to catch up… and then a day like this holds me back.

I fucking hate it. I really do. To make it clear, I do NOT feel sorry for myself nor do I want pity. I will do my job. All of it. I always do. But I find it so hard to accept that I’m not well. I’m unable to relax and give myself a break. So instead of taking a day off and get some rest, I put tons of pressure on myself.

Can’t truly remember when was the last time I took time for myself and just sat on the couch, ate like a little piggie and did nothing. Probably back in elementary school when Fridays over at my best friend were the highlight of the week. We’d have horror movies marathons and ate our weight in sweets.

Or when I had no problem sitting down for hours and hours doing nothing. I was playing Sims like the world’s destiny depended on it. Or I was wasting time watching TV. And I didn’t care at all.

Times have changed drastically. These days I feel bad for not being busy 24/7. It doesn’t matter how tired and exhausted I am. I always push myself to the limit. To make matters more interesting I also started a new therapy not long ago, and like usual I’m experiencing all the side effects.

I think you have to have a special talent for this. I manage to fail at every therapy and piss off my doctors. Oh, the stories I have to tell. Maybe I should start blogging about that? 🙂 What I’m seriously contemplating right now is blogging about how this therapy goes.

But I also need to learn again how to take it easy and how to take a better care of myself. I have to learn how to feel not guilty and take time to recover, rest and relax.

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Happy New Year

So… it looks like we finally managed to get rid of the bad boy. 2016, that is! Did you make out of it alive? If so, maybe congratulations are in order. 😛

All jokes aside, was it really that bad? I can say it was quite challenging and therefore very eye opening. But apart from that, it was just another year. And years are basically just numbers. Numbers=math, and in my book, math is not only boring, it’s also annoying AF.

The older I get the less excited I am about new years. I don’t do resolutions. I never did. NY is just so… overrated IMO. All these promises, good wishes, corny greetings,… they’re forgotten so soon and people continue with their lives, fall back into routines, and that’s perfectly normal. That’s life. Why put pressure on yourself just because a year goes up by one number? If you want to change your life or change something in it, then you really don’t have to wait for NY to do so.

Dunno, NY was exciting when I was little and the idea of being up past midnight seemed promising. These days I’m always up way past midnight, so most of the charm is gone. I do understand, to some extend, this, um, freshness or the promise of it, that comes with celebration, and hence don’t roll my eyes when people go all crazy and overboard with excitement. The only thing I do hate is the pyrotechnic. Seriously, why would you want to send all that money up in the sky and scare the hell out of animals? That’s beyond me.

Anyway, back to 2017- it’s here! No matter if you celebrate or not, love it or hate it, have a whole list of resolutions or not a single one, I wish you all a good health, lots of laughter that comes from the heart, love, and happy moments with your dear ones. Here’s to travels, new adventures, yummy vegan food and happy animals. 🙂

Stay true to yourself and take it easy. 🙂

PS: Maybe my resolution should be to write more… 😀

And remember- we may not always have the control over what happens to us. But we do have the control on how we'll react.