Eat death, become dead

First things first, before anyone jump to any conclusion. The title doesn’t mean I wish death to anyone, be it a carnivore or not.

What I’m trying to say is that since going vegan (5 years soon!) I feel alive and more inspired than ever before. Every day veganism turns out to be more and more rewarding. Being vegan is much more than just a diet. Yeah, eat plants and prosper. But not just because of somewhat healthy choices (hey, there’s tons of vegan junk out there!) – but mostly because veganism is a lifestyle that feels so damn good.

While I might not be the best role model for it with my appearance, I’m still beyond grateful my diseases brought me to it. They were the reason I became curious about it. I wanted to see first hand what it can do for my health I wanted to learn more about nutrition, well-being… all these things. My diseases gave me a valuable lesson, even though I had to learn the hard way (knowing myself I wouldn’t even want it any other way).

Anyways. Fast forward to today – being vegan feels natural. I’m still in disbelief that I used to take part in the atrocities we commit against the animals day after day. This is exactly why I always try to inspire others. I use the positive approach with kindness and understanding. With yummy food. With amazing projects such as Challenge 22 + (which I couldn’t be happier and prouder to be a part of).

But. BUT. Today is 4th of October – the world animal day and today I’m letting it all out. All the frustration, all the anger, all the sadness, all the disbelief.

Because sometimes I’m really tired of hearing those stupid questions over and over again. I’m tired of the nasty remarks and insults. I usually ignore them. Not today. Today I will let them all out, and then I’ll continue spreading the vegan word with love, kindness, and understanding, and I will focus on those who are willing to listen. So just for today, I’m abandoning this rule, and I’m letting my bitter vegan out.

I’m disgusted when people are willing to see past the suffering because they believe the only way to a fit body is by eating animal flesh. I hate that people actually believe they are worth more than animals. Why again? Just because we can stand on two feet and talk? Because we have a reason? What reason? We use and abuse our given common sense by finding excuses to exploit the weak. Not just the animals. Of course, it doesn’t stop with them. It goes on with other people – be it for their gender, race, skin color, sexual orientation, whatever. Let’s hate. Let’s make ourselves feel good by belittling others. Why again?

I’m disgusted because no one cares about our planet. For fuck’s sake. This our home, you know? So far we cannot live on the moon just yet. Don’t pretend to be an environmentalist if you continue with your old ways and stuff your face with burgers because bacon is life. What we’re doing to our planet is like loving your house but keep setting it on fire.

Most of all, I don’t understand women who claim that being a mother is the ultimate goal in life yet they don’t mind that other babies die and are brutally taken away from their mothers because cheesecake is what makes Sundays? For crying out loud.

I honestly do NOT understand how anyone can carry on after learning all the truth! How? Why? Is your own comfort really so much more important? Is it really this hard to change?

You can make a difference. You are enough. So stop looking for excuses. Stop hiding behind others. Take responsibility and do the right thing. Go vegan. For the animals. For the planet. For yourself. Your veins and your heart will be grateful. The planet will be grateful. And the animals. Let them shine with joy. Let them live.

Last but not least. The future generation will be grateful. Your very own children and grandchildren and so on – all of those you claim to love to the moon and back. So I’m begging you – think about it. Like, really think about it.

PS: Before someone tells me to get off my high horse, let’s make one thing clear. I don’t have to love all the animals, but I do respect their right to live. Try it for yourself. The change that follows will turn your world upside down. But for the better. This I promise.

I live

Huh, so where do I even begin? I’m still alive and kicking, although you couldn’t tell so judging from the activity on this blog. I’ve been ignoring it like crazy. Which IS crazy considering I’m paying for it. Besides, I’m not really ignoring it. I’m simply too busy to write.

I know, I know. Such a lame excuse, aye? At least being too-busy-for-anything is super popular right now. It’s the latest trend from what I hear so once for a change I’m keeping up the appearances. Congrats me?! But all jokes aside, the reality is that I’m truly super busy.

I’m not saying this in vain. In fact, I’ve been so busy it’s not even funny anymore, but I’ll get back to that later.

First, I want to focus on this blog. When I started it, I wanted to write about how to cope with life with chronic illnesses. I wanted to inspire and be inspired, offer and find support, all the usual jazz, you know. Guess I was dead wrong. Writing about that ain’t easy. It’s not easy to find words. It’s hard to be all smiles and brimming with wit at all times. On top of everything my latest doctor appointment was a sheer disaster, so I swore to myself I’m done with doctors. Regular check-ups, m’kay, everything else- hell no!

Hope I don’t jinx it, but I’ve been feeling surprisingly well lately. Maybe that’s because I’m so busy, hehe, but either way I’m thankful for it.

That being said, let’s go back to me being so, oh, super busy. Before I continue, don’t get me wrong. I LOVE to work! Honestly. I’m happy I can work, and I love my job(s). Buuuut- it might’ve come to a point where work is all I have. And something deep down tells me that can’t be right. That there is or should be more to life.

I mean, I feel SO lost without work. The second I have nothing to do it hits me how empty my (personal) life is, lol. But what’s even worse is that that I have no idea how to relax, unwind and take it easy.

My work is- hard to describe. All I can say is that it’s extremely versatile. I do many different things. We have a family business, we recently opened a new branch, and I help at both. Then there’s my freelancing I have no intent to give up on as it allows me to write and be free (sort of).

There’s nothing I love more than writing. It makes me happy. I’m very grateful I’m slowly but surely making progress in this direction. I’ve been doing lots of different writing jobs lately- from eulogies, CEO to copywriting. But no writing for my soul. And I miss it!! I honestly do. However, days are only 24 hours long, and it’s hard to fit it all in this short time frame.

Besides, writing isn’t something you can do on command if you know what I mean. My other jobs are highly unpredictable not to mention emotionally exhausting, so I gave up social life too. I’ve learned it’s best not to make any plans and promises rather than breaking them.

I get roughly 5-6 hours of sleep, go to work, and rarely make it home before 6 PM. Then I cook some dinner, and voila- it’s time to take my laptop and work some more. I try my best to keep with up with regular work. I juggle as much as I can. But it’s not leading anywhere, to be honest.

Although I enjoy the hustle, there is a lot I miss. I miss alone time. I miss relaxation. I miss carefree feels. Ok, so the latter might be a myth but still. Life can’t be all stress and no fun, right? I’m aware of all the flaws, but somehow it seems I can’t make a proper change. I have no idea why is that so. But I guess being aware of it is the first step or something. 😉

In other news, I’ve been struggling with activist burnout lately too. I’ve been under attack for my veganism a lot. People still don’t get it, duh.
But to be honest, it’s not just the animal welfare that worries me it’s our planet and how we litter it. We’re going to drown in the trash, but no one cares. Environmental reasons are a big part of my vegan journey, and seeing how reckless and clueless people are is super depressing. So I made a vow to do my best to spread awareness. Still, it doesn’t feel enough so I hope I can get involved more actively.

Anyways, I’m still alive. But just because I live doesn’t mean I’m living. If you know what I mean. Not to get too philosophical, I’ll try to change that, and start living too. 🙂

Happy New Year

So… it looks like we finally managed to get rid of the bad boy. 2016, that is! Did you make out of it alive? If so, maybe congratulations are in order. 😛

All jokes aside, was it really that bad? I can say it was quite challenging and therefore very eye opening. But apart from that, it was just another year. And years are basically just numbers. Numbers=math, and in my book, math is not only boring, it’s also annoying AF.

The older I get the less excited I am about new years. I don’t do resolutions. I never did. NY is just so… overrated IMO. All these promises, good wishes, corny greetings,… they’re forgotten so soon and people continue with their lives, fall back into routines, and that’s perfectly normal. That’s life. Why put pressure on yourself just because a year goes up by one number? If you want to change your life or change something in it, then you really don’t have to wait for NY to do so.

Dunno, NY was exciting when I was little and the idea of being up past midnight seemed promising. These days I’m always up way past midnight, so most of the charm is gone. I do understand, to some extend, this, um, freshness or the promise of it, that comes with celebration, and hence don’t roll my eyes when people go all crazy and overboard with excitement. The only thing I do hate is the pyrotechnic. Seriously, why would you want to send all that money up in the sky and scare the hell out of animals? That’s beyond me.

Anyway, back to 2017- it’s here! No matter if you celebrate or not, love it or hate it, have a whole list of resolutions or not a single one, I wish you all a good health, lots of laughter that comes from the heart, love, and happy moments with your dear ones. Here’s to travels, new adventures, yummy vegan food and happy animals. 🙂

Stay true to yourself and take it easy. 🙂

PS: Maybe my resolution should be to write more… 😀

And remember- we may not always have the control over what happens to us. But we do have the control on how we'll react.

Join the Challenge 22+

Or, as I love to say- come to the (b)right side- we have (vegan!) cookies. 🙂

There is no doubt- veganism is huge right now. So many people are willing to give it a try, which makes me super happy and excited, but also takes me back to my own beginnings. I remember how insecure, lost and misunderstood I often felt. I went through all the phases and did the whole process all by myself and alone.

Looking back at it, I see I could use some help, and now this help is here, widely available to everyone who wants&needs it, in a form of an amazing project, called Challenge 22 +. As the name itself says, it’s a challenge in which you get to experience veganism for 22 days. Your first step is signing up through the website.

Why join and why 22 days?

No beginning is easy and this one in particular can be extremely difficult. Sure, there are people who make a switch overnight but majority of people need some extra guidance and time. Which is understandable, considering that most of us were brought up in cultures where eating animals is so normal that it’s hard to see how utterly wrong it actually is. And damaging- to our own health, our (only!) planet, and of course the animals.

So a path to veganism can truly be overwhelming. It can be hard to find the right information and proper advice. After seeing all those videos&documentaries, reading articles, books and blogs frustration can arise and doubts appear. Especially when you have to face the others&break the news to your family&friends. It’s a lot!

However, this rocky road doesn’t have to be walked alone any longer! With a team of experienced and devoted vegans who volunteer as mentors, the transition is easy and enjoyable.

There’s no judging and no rushing, there is only lots of support in form of healthy tips, advice on fitness and nutrition, yummy recipes,… Experts, such as dietitians, help remove any doubts and/or fears. Every day brings a new challenge, but it’s all just fun- like trying vegan pizza for the first time or making some delicious pasta or lentil dish! I promise, you’ll find nothing but understanding and support there.

It all happens in a place, we all are so familiar with- within the “walls” of Facebook- a Facebook group, that is. So all your questions will be answered in real time and you’ll be able to find all the information you need.

How do I know all of that? Hmm, don’t want to brag but I’m also one of the mentors. Cheesy or not (no pun intended)- I’m super happy&proud to be a part of it. I find this challenge as a great way to help acknowledge veganism and it’s a form of activism that suits me best. It helps spread awareness with love and kindness. 🙂

And it doesn’t stop here, oh no! Another amazing perk is that you get to meet people from all over the world and create new friendships, find your “support” groups, which is so crucial. It always fills my heart with joy when I see mentees realise how great veganism is. And that vegans don’t just eat lettuce and die of protein deficiency. 😉

So if you’re interested and willing to give it a try-please, come and join us. You’re more than welcome and like I said, we’re a friendly bunch and we have cookies. Vegan cookies. 🙂

P.S.: I’m definitely not the person who believes in new year’s resolutions. However, if you already decide to make one, then this is the one! I’m also not that sentimental&over emotional person but I’ve got to say that this challenge has definitely been one of the highlights of 2016! So do yourself a favour and at least give a try to the most amazing lifestyle out there. ❤

P.S.2: 22 days because it takes approximately that much time to adapt a change, make a switch and break the old habits. 😉


Grateful for disease?

Is it possible? To, you know, be grateful for being a chronic patient and having to deal with all the crap that comes with it? Like… being in pain most of the time, planning your doctors’ appointments rather than parties with your friends, having to watch what you eat, and never knowing what a day will bring. Of course the list goes on, but you get the picture, right?

Anyways, I’ve noticed this is a pretty “hot” and controversial topic among chronic patients. I too have often caught myself thinking: “Damn, I am actually grateful for all the shit I’ve been through.” It took me a while to realise that obviously I’m not grateful for the disease itself (hey, even I am not that kind of a martyr), but for the lessons I was able to learn. My life has definitely changed and, in a way, so have I. While I’m still the same old me in the very core, the way I perceive and see life has changed and so have my perspectives and priorities. And yeah, I’m grateful for this, because no matter how, umm, tough life might be sometimes, I appreciate the following lessons:

1. Things don’t make you happy
It seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it? Things are just things, yet so many people believe they will bring that ultimate feeling of happiness, fulfillness- peace of mind if you want to. So their only goal is to have things. And not only that, they also strive to do things that please others but not them.  They go to certain schools, hang out with certain people, go to certain places, work certain jobs, etc,… only to… what exactly? Put more pressure on themselves? Because in reality- why care what others think? Owning and doing things doesn’t make you happy. Maybe only temporarily. After all, happiness is a state of mind, not a state of possession and position.

2. Looks are overrated 
Don’t get me wrong, deep down I’m sure we all like to feel pretty. But then again, what’s pretty is pretty relative, aye? I’m also not saying that neglecting your personal hygiene is the way to go. However, I do wonder what real difference does our appearance make? I used to be obsessed with looks and wouldn’t leave the house without checking myself in the mirror, like, zillion of times. Then, during my biggest fight with disease, I completely lost interest and had rarely put any make up on… which was actually quite liberating, despite all the sorrow that surrounded me. I learned that if you feel fine this is all that matters. Life is this moment. It goes by quickly and can end any moment. So obsessing over looks in a way that you dont’t feel complete without looking like a picture perfect is just a waste of precious time.  Well, I did manage to “restore” my love for make up and I’m glad about it, but I don’t feel the “pressure” of it anymore.

3. Food matters
I learned this the hard way. Damn, did I suffer. It hurts to even think about it, and I still haven’t completely recovered, or better said, forgiven some people. Once again, common sense proved to be the best medicine. There’s no such thing as super foods, shortcuts that would heal you and allow you to play games and be reckless with your dietary choices. There are only real, wholesome foods that will help you get and stay better. If they’re prepared with love and eaten in peace they will prove even more beneficial. So forget about fad diets, trends, pills and wonders. There is no such thing. Make that change, do it for your guts and your body will thank you.

4. Face your fears
Getting sick gave me a unique glimpse inside my mind. It brought me to the edge and I was in an unknown, very dark and very unpleasant place… yet I survived. Thanks to one simple trick- facing my own fears. Do you worry about what might happen? Think about it! Don’t ignore it. This just adds to frustration and frustration results in all the bad things… you end up fighting with yourself, your loved ones, and everyone else. You become bitter and miserable. So fuck this shit and simply face your fucking fears. Consider all the options. Play with all the scenarios. Do it and I promise it will be easier. The tension will begin to fade. I learned that the true strength lies within me and that this is enough.

5. You become stronger
According to the internet it was Bob Marley who said: “‘You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.” He couldn’t be more on point! Disease changes your life. It shatters the world you used to know. You are left with two options: feeling sorry for yourself or fighting for yourself. If you choose the latter, you win. You become tougher. Or maybe less sensitive. Either way, your skin grow thick and this enriches your life.

6. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously.
Damn, the most valuable of all lessons. Life is too fucking short to live like you have a stick up your arse. And no, I’m not talking about yolo. This shit is overrated and stupid. Life is not a fucking competition. Bottom line is, we all die in the end so why rush it, why worry about what others think or act like the world is going to collapse if we make a mistake? If you’re able to learn something from it, and use this for improvement, then you win.


Are plants enough?

Being vegan sounds extreme to many. But being vegan and being chronically sounds like you lost it. Especially now, when following auto-immune protocol and paleo diet is hugely popular. People are almost literally gobbling down enormous amounts of (animal derived) proteins, tons of fats and zero carbs.

Then there’s me, stuffing my face with unlimited carbs, cooking with no oil and eating tons of “sugar” that comes from fruit. Oh, and everything I eat is completely plant based, of course.

So I really shouldn’t be so surprised (and annoyed) to get raised eyebrows and weird looks. The one question I hear a lot is- are plants enough? Well, to end this “mystery” I decided to answer the most common questions I get. Here we go! 🙂 But before I begin, let me point out one more thing: I’m vegan for the animals and our planet and I follow wholesome, healthy plant based diet for my health. 😉

Can you be plant-based (vegan) when you are a chronic patient, struggling with many auto-immune diseases?
The answer is very simple and straight forward. Yes. Yes, you sure can! I’ve been “proving” that for almost 4 years now.

Will it cure of your diseases?
Well, this one depends on the disease you have. But if I’m referring to auto-immune disorders, such as Hashimoto’s, then the answer is no.

While plants are the most delicious, wonderful, versatile and all around brilliant food, they are no effing superhero and if your immune system is a bit bizarre and “enjoys” attacking itself, it’ll continue to do so.

However- eating balanced, wholesome plant based diet can put certain diseases and conditions in remission and make your immune system stronger! And that matters, trust me!

But why eat healthy, if you’re still sick?
How about, because it makes me feel great and because I love it? I don’t see it as a struggle or deprivation. In fact, I’ve never eaten better than I do now!

But to be honest, it was puzzling at the beginning, especially because people are quick to judge and point their fingers, like- what’s the point then? You eat healthy, but you still feel (and look) like shit.

Hmm, if I play this “but-you-don’t-look-sick” card, then what people can’t see and even less feel, they cannot understand. But I know. I know how I used to feel. I was unable to leave the house. Unable to stand up straight and socialise. I was in constant pain and lived with a huge stigma.

So yeah- plants won’t cure me per se, but they made my life tolerable again. In comparison to before, I now thrive. Yes, I still have flare ups and stuff, but so do the people who follow AIP. I’ve talked to enough of them to know this for certain.

If you’re a chronic patient with a immune system on the loose, you’re bound to collapse every now and then. But eating healthy pays off, because it makes that time in between bearable.

What’s up with clean eating? Ain’t that just another eating disorder in disguise?
I can’t speak for others, but for me, it definitely isn’t. In fact, with my (ruined) guts it is the only option… and I actually love it. Some may think I am a fussy eater, but I see it as a perfectly normal lifestyle I enjoy very much.

My “diet” (not a fan of this word) involves lots of fresh fruit and veggies, lots of unprocessed carbs and a little amount of good fats. All prepared from scratch if only possible.

Besides, I firmly believe there’s nothing wrong if you want to eat healthy and skip on things that are full of ingredients one can’t even pronounce.

Does it have to be organic?
I do prefer to buy organic whenever possible, but I’m not obsessing over it. I will much rather buy produce from a local farmer than buy something in a store, brought from afar, just for the sake of its organic label. What’s more important to me is that the food is local, seasonal and preferably not packed in plastics.

It also depends on my budget. I have no intention to go broke by vigorously buying only organic. I became quite a savvy over those years, when it comes to shopping, can proof read ingredients like a real pro and know where to buy and how to buy all the good stuff. Practice makes perfect or something, aye?

What about super foods?
Ha, I remember when I first started reading and investigating all about food, its combinations, macros and micros, nutrients and all that jazz. Damn, with so much information out there, no wonder people are confused.

All these super foods are also super expensive. But do they do their job? Maybe some do, I don’t know. My budget and patience aren’t big enough to try them all out, but my common sense is quite down on Earth, so I figured that if humanity survived this long without taking million supplements and obsessing over super foods, then they are not so necessary. I guess they can make a great addition in one’s diet- I’m not going to lie, I’m a huge chia pudding fan, but do I really need all those pricey powders shipped from other parts of the world to be healthy? Nah, not really.

Acai powder vs local wild blueberries? Quinoa over buckwheat? Well, I will much rather have buckwheat porridge with blueberries. These are the real super foods- homegrown, local and seasonal.

Besides, no amount of super foods can erase all the “wrong” food one eats.

But…what about the taste?
With all this artificial food out there, it is no surprise that people gag when they try unprocessed food for the first time. But guess what- you get used to it. And once you do, once you get back the real taste of food, there’s NO way you can go back to eating crap. Real food, like dunno- fresh tomato from the garden- tastes phenomenal and it doesn’t even need any seasoning.

But can you get everything from plants?
Yes. Wholesome, delicious, preferably homegrown plants give you everything and they nourish you from the inside and outside. They are full of fibers, vitamins, minerals, they are packed with nutrients, and yes- you get more than enough protein from them!

Isn’t eating vegan boring?
This one always makes me giggle. With so many different kinds of plants, how could eating this way be boring? Since I don’t get stranded on desert island on daily basis, my food’s definitely not boring. In fact, I’ve never been more creative or eaten more versatile.

What exactly do you eat then?
Here’s the thing- I’m a pretty hardcore ethical vegan but the health aspect plays a huge role in my veganism, therefore I try my best to eat healthy. I find that eating enormous amounts of carbs, very little fat and lots of fruits works best for me. I could say I’m one of those high carbs low fat vegans who follow raw till 4. Only that I’m not. I could never be completely raw and I also don’t enjoy labels.

Lemme just say that my favourite things to eat are: fresh, seasonal and perfectly ripe fruits, sweet potato, pumpkin, pasta, homemade pizza and almost all the veggies.

But why do you take supplements?
I only take B12 and vitamin D. Ask any other chronic patient what they take and the answer will be pretty similar, them being vegan or not. In fact, did you know that vitamin D plays a crucial role in maintaining a good health and that most people are insufficient? So much more if you struggle with chronic illness(es).

What are the benefits of eating this way?
For starters- long gone are the days of me struggling with IBS and leaky gut.

My allergies improved and I almost don’t need to take medicine anymore. My skin improved and so did my energy levels.

And I love what it did to my mind- it’s so much clear and sharp now. I very rarely get cold, and even if I do, I get better in a couple of days. So yeah. I’m sticking to eating plants.

Let’s talk booze!
There were times when I had my fair share of booze, but now it’s best for me to stay away from it. That’s all I’m saying. Alcohol no longer likes me, ha-ha.

Hmm, I think this pretty much covers it. 🙂 If anyone has any other, new question- shoot it. I’m curious to hear and will gladly answer. 🙂

Are plants enough


The mystery of happiness…

Happiness seems to be the ultimate goal of everyone, and many people spend almost their entire lives in a desperate pursuit of it. However, when or if they fail, that makes them even more miserable.

So you know what? Screw that and screw happiness. It’s overrated, anyway. I’m not going to dedicate my life to searching something that is so… relative.

Yup, in my humble, probably irrelevant opinion, happiness is relative. Want to be happy? Then ask yourself what happiness is in the first place? What makes you happy? And be brutally honest with your answer!

Some strive for wealth and power and fame. Others feel happy knowing they have pretty clothes hanging in their closet. There are people who feel happiest when they can spend their time in the garden and enjoy the outdoors. Some find comfort and happiness in quiet places, some in loud and noisy. And so the list goes on and on.

Personally, I find those happy moments/feelings in many different things. Like a sunny day, a cat that snuggles up to my legs, a smile from a stranger on the street, a bunch of perfectly ripe fresh fruit and having enough time to devour it in peace and quiet. You get the picture.

But those are all “short term” happy moments/feelings. They make life awesome and so fucking special but they don’t last forever and they definitely don’t guarantee happiness in a long term. Bummer, right?

Well, not really. While perpetual happiness isn’t my life goal, I do believe in something else- that is a content and fulfilled life, and I believe this happens when you realise life’s a mix of good and bad. When you acknowledge you can’t (and don’t have to be) always be happy and that there’s nothing wrong with that.

You know those people who always wear a huge grin all over their face and proclaim how they are super happy and that everyone should be happy, happy, happy. Well, if you ask me, they’re tiring. Being positive, okay. But being so hyper happy, and believing that being unhappy is a certain death, is just plain stupid.

Who knows… maybe I’d still be so caught up in pursuit of happiness, if I didn’t get sick. But I did. And it made me revalue certain things in life and helped me realise that happiness can be so many things. That it comes in many different shapes and sizes and that there’s no need to spend my life looking for it and feeling like a loser, if I fail.

And the most important lesson: there’s no universal happiness. So in conclusion I can say that learning all of that was extremely liberating. It freed me from that crazy feeling that I’m missing on something if I’m not all smiley-happy all the time.

Happiness quote spoonielicious

The story of pain: Fibromyalgia

Defined as a disorder characterized by widespread muscular or musculoskeletal pain, accompanied with stiffness, fatigue, sleep problems, brain fog & company, fibromyalgia sounds pretty clear.

But is it really? Because to me, it’s much more than just that. It’s the story of pain and silent suffering.

Let’s talk pain first- it’s unbearable sometimes. It comes in waves and you never know when the next one is going to hit you and how strong is it going to be. Everything hurts. All is sore. It burns. You feel stiff and unable to move. It feels as tough you’re going to break in half. Or in million pieces.

It’s invisible. You look pretty okay from the outside, but on the inside you scream. Yet you put a big, brave smile on your face because you know people don’t want to hear about “another episode of yours”.

Fibromyaliga is also very lonely. You want to spend time with people, yet you can’t. You feel too tired and you’re in too much pain…and let’s not forget you’re not the best company, because you’re moody and irritable.

You’re tired. Oh, so tired! But you can’t sleep. You’re struggling with insomnia. And then with painsomnia… It’s like a monster that actually exists. You feel desperate. Desperate when all your tender points are on fire. You’re like a mechanic robot that was left out in the rain. Get the picture?

People either don’t know it or don’t believe it’s real. Well, guess what- it is! But it’s hard to blame them, as even most doctors don’t recognize it as a “real” disease.

Whoever thinks that living with chronic, non stop, debilitating pain is “easy” and that we’re just exaggerating, because we’re (overly) sensitive cry babies who should go out more, relax and think positive, do some yoga, eat super foods and find inner peace… well, I’d love to invite those people to live in my body for just one week. To see it for themselves how it’s when a flare up kicks in.

Today is fibromyalgia awareness day. Fibromyalgia is the story of pain. But it’s also the story of the brave. Because during flare ups, being brave is all you can do. During good days? You’re grateful for every single day that goes by without pain. You enjoy in those moments. You appreciate life.

So yeah. Fibro warriors of the world- stay brave and keep on fighting!

Keep up the fight and spread the word!
Keep up the fight and spread the word!



Spring pasta

Instead of whining about disease all the time, I’ll rather share a recipe. In fact, I don’t even know if I can call it a recipe. It’s way too simple for that. But it’s how I like to cook- very spontaneous! 😉 I prefer to be creative and inspired by my current mood+ingredients I have at hand.

And this is exactly how I came up with this one. But before I begin, here’s a little confession- I love pasta and am a true pasta-holic. There’s something so satisfying about it, isn’t it? I could eat plain pasta (almost) every single day and when it comes to sauces, I also like to keep it simple. My favourites are definitely tomato sauce with tons of Italian herbs, avocado “sour cream” with dill and cauliflower Alfredo.

However, the one I’m sharing today, is perfect for these lovely spring days. Tender and gently, subtly sweet flavours of dominantly spring veggies work together very well and the addition of oat cream gives that extra kick. But a true star is the thyme. Or maybe that’s just me, because I’m crazy about it. 🙂  Anyway… here’s how to make this yummy dish.

It’ll take you approximately half an hour all together.

Serves 2:

  • 200 g (or more!) of whole grain pasta of your choice
  • 100 g of (frozen) peas
  • 2 medium sized carrots, finely sliced
  • 3 courgettes, sliced
  • bunch of asparagus
  • 1/2 tsp of mustard seeds
  • 1/2 tsp of ground coriander
  • 1 tsp of thyme + more for sprinkling
  • 100 ml of oat cream
  • 1/4 tsp of turmeric
  • sea salt
  • pine nuts

Cook peas and pasta together.
But be careful- you may need to add peas before pasta as some tend to cook longer.
Cook pasta as instructed. Once cooked, drain and let it wait.

Oil free sauce:
Add sliced carrots to your preheated pan and have some water ready by your side. You’ll need it for the veggies. Gently cook your carrots and only add a little bit of water- just enough that it doesn’t burn. Add mustard seeds and ground coriander. Once the carrots soften, add asparagus sprigs and water as needed, then toss in the courgettes and season with a generous amount of thyme.

When the veggies are cooked- but not over cooked (although this is up to your taste buds, I personally can’t stand when courgettes get too soggy)- add peas and pasta and let it bind together nicely. Then add oat cream in which you mixed turmeric. If necessary add a bit more of water. I like to use the one I save from pasta because it’s already salty.
Add more thyme and let it sit for a few minutes. Serve with some pine nuts on top and enjoy.

And don’t forget to have some salad on side. After all that’s the only thing that vegans eat, right? 😉 Hint: try cucumber salad with avocado dressing with this one. 😉

This dish is way better when it’s made with vegetables from the garden- fresh produce always tastes better so grow your own or suck up to the people who have gardens, he-he. 😀





(un)Happy Mother’s day

Yesterday was mother’s day here where I live, so I’m dedicating this blog to the mothers who suffer beyond words. Those non-human mothers who, just as human mothers, create immediate bond with their babies, love them and want to protect them… but are unable to do so… I want to talk about the overlooked mothers of the most bloody industry I can think of- the dairy industry.

Now I’ll be honest. I do feel as a hypocrite as I’m typing this because I was your typical “can’t-live-without-cheese” girl. I consumed dairy like it’s no one’s business, and I swear a litre of milk a day was no problem for me. Morning cereals drowned in milk, pasta with sour cream and dill, all the cheeses I could get my hands on, not to mention chocolate and sweets, plus all the things where dairy is a “hidden” product. Yup. I was one of those.

All until dairy almost killed me. Literally. Jeez, if I think back it just makes me feel stupid…I mean whenever I went to a family gathering I settled for, ta-da you guessed it-cheese. So I’d have tons of it and feel awfully sick on my way back home but I was unable to make the connection that it was actually dairy causing my sickness. I had no clue at all. I was completely and utterly clueless.

Then came the revelation… I found out about my lactose intolerance, and then after getting my Hashi diagnosis I learned more about how bad dairy is for your health. But what really got me was learning how truly awful and horrible dairy is for the health of cows.

I honestly believe that the cruelty of dairy industry made me a “forever vegan”, and I’m highly sensitive to it. It makes me sick to my stomach when I remember that I took part in it and I feel deeply ashamed. However I’m also happy I went through all of that process and was able to ditch the dairy completely, despite my proclaimed undying and unconditional love for it.

To say it’s heartbreaking doesn’t do it justice. It’s cruel. It’s barbaric. It’s the most appalling and disgusting thing ever.

Here’s a little story. Imagine going into a nursery and taking babies away from their mums. Boys are killed and girls face the same destiny as their mums. They will be artificially inseminated over and over again, so some other species will be able to drink their milk.

Doesn’t sound right, does it? Can you imagine having your baby ripped out of your hands right after birth? Would you like your baby boy to be killed? Would you like for your daughter to be raped and tortured?

Cows are smart, gentle, caring and loving. They feel pain. Pain of loss and pain of having their milk stolen. They are put on machines that milk the shiz out of them until their breasts are swollen and sore. Once they start losing milk they will simply make them pregnant again and again. Until the day they become useless. Until the day when their only “purpose” is to become someone’s dinner. What a life, ha?

You know in full honesty- I’m not your typical motherly gal. Never dreamed of having children and here I’m in my early 30’s, still single and there’s no biological clock raving, yet the cruelty and coldness of this shake me to the core.

It is impossible for me to understand how others- especially women- can be so…unhurt by it. And I’m talking about women who claim they are willing to die for their children. Women who are all about women’s rights. Yet they couldn’t care less about cows. Because cheese, right?

During my dark ages of being a chain dairy consumer I swear I had no clue, so I can relate to those clueless. But for those who know and choose not to care… I can’t. There’s no apology for this. No apology. Dear cows…dear all the other non-human mothers whose desperate cries remain unheard because of profits and unwillingness to make a difference…my deepest apologizes. I’m truly sorry.

Want to know more about dairy industry? Take five and watch this video. It explains everything in a nutshell.