Facing the disease

Finding your positive vibe and approach to life truly helps, especially when you have to deal with autoimmune diseases and chronic illnesses. I know lots of people who are (still) struggling with diagnoses, and simply cannot accept the fact they are ill.

I think this is pretty sad. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about giving up and feeling sorry for yourself. I’m all about fighting. Keeping it positive and always looking for something new, aiming toward progress… BUT- I also proudly declare I accepted my disease. This doesn’t mean that I’m happy to have it or that I’m in love with it. However I did accept my new life and new terms I have to live with it.

It was either that or going crazy. Since Hashi’s already making me cray cray enough, there’s no need to put any additional pressure on myself. šŸ™‚ So I accepted all of my diseases and I’ve learned to live with them… in fact, I’m still learning. šŸ˜‰

Like I said- this is far from giving up, but I simply cannot imagine living in denial. Pretending that it’s all okay when it’s not.

Let’s be honest- living with AI diseases is not easy. It’s a big pain in the ass. I really don’t like taking my magical thyroid pill every single morning, making sure enough time passes before I can brush my teeth and start my day with a yummy breakfast. I hate that I have to plan everything in advance. I used to be able to go out and stay over at my friend’s if I wanted to…now, I have to make sure I take my pills with me. Everywhere I go, everything I do…it has to be planed. At least a little bit. Sure that is no fun.

Then you have to make sure you eat all the “right” things or else you’re facing another collapse. Make sure you lead a “proper” lifestyle that doesn’t upset you too much…and even when you follow all these “protocols”, you still don’t know what new day will bring.

Will you be able to get out of bed, will you have enough energy to endure through the day, will one of your symptoms decide to give you hard times, will there be another breakdown? Will you be able to attend to your duties, or keep the promises you made? I’m pretty much sure every spoonie out there knows what I’m talking about. You finally decide to go out, and you promise to your friends you’ll be there, but then you’re so tired you can barely stand and the thought of leaving the house make you want to die? We’ve all been there,…Oh, and let’s not forget the flare ups.

Nope. Living with that sucks. Big time. Still I cannot imagine denying the whole thing. Cannot imagine how incredible hard it must be to not only fight with your body but also with your mind.

It’s perfectly okay to say out loud that being ill sucks. It’s perfectly okay to say that none of this is easy to accept. It’s okay to feel angry, frustrated. Even sad and bumped. But the sooner you accept the fact you suffer from AI diseases and chronic illnesses, the sooner you can start making positive changes. It’s not an easy process and it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and it’s a real struggle. But it’s possible.

Sometimes you triumph with a jump and sometimes you make baby steps. The only important thing is that you’re moving. See, when I was diagnosed I thought this was like a flu or something. That I’ll be all cool in a week or so… Instead I went from bad to worse, met the bottom and my life’s never been the same again. It’s like a never stopping roller coaster.

But I started…with those baby steps, making progress, getting to know the new me, looking for the remains of the old me, learning about my diseases, my body. Through ups and downs I’ve learned a lot… The fact is that everything changes. And it’s only up to you to make something good out of this change.

source Chronically Fabulous

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